Living with a roommate is never easy, but there are some things that you can do to ensure that there are no problems and that this stress is minimized. The first step to a civil relationship with your roommate is to be polite and use common courtesy. Many disagreements start over a lack of consideration for the other person living in the same room. Try and be considerate in every aspect, and be polite when dealing with the other person.
Dorm rooms are not large by any means, so you will be living in a small space with a total stranger. Politeness and common courtesy by both individuals in the room will go a long way to making this situation tolerable for everyone involved.
Keep your areas of the room clean and neat. Don’t be a slob because this type of behavior can lead to frustration for the other person. You do not have to be a neat freak, but remember that your roommate also has to live in the room. Make your bed each morning, pick up any dirty laundry laying around, and take care of any trash that may be laying around. These steps only take a few minutes each day but can have a big impact on your relationship with your roommate.
Be considerate with friends as well. Do not monopolize the room all the time with numerous friends visiting. Respect the needs of your roommate, and make sure that your friends are not imposing on them. Always make sure it is okay with them before you invite anyone to spend the night in the room. Never assume it is okay without specifically bringing the matter up with your roommate and making sure it will not be an issue.
Roommates do not have to be friends, but both of you should feel comfortable in the room you share. If something makes your roommate uncomfortable then you should not do this in the room, no matter how small or minor the issue may seem. Little issues can build up to big problems over time, so it is better to prevent these in the first place. Do not feel offended if your roommate is uncomfortable with something you do, simply do it somewhere else and not in the room. Being honest and addressing these issues up front can save many problems later on. You also need to be honest with your roommate if they do something that makes you uncomfortable.
A big no no in college roommate etiquette is to use their stuff without asking. Even though you share a room you should never use or take anything that does not belong to you without getting permission first. Accidents do happen, and if something that belongs to your roommate gets broken by you or your friends for any reason you should apologize right away and pay to replace the broken item. A big source of conflict between roommates is gossiping or revealing secrets. As roommates you are both going to have some conflicts, but you should not gossip with your friends or reveal any secrets that you know. If this activity reaches your roommate, and it usually does, there could be a big problem and a lot of mistrust and hurt feelings. Keep it to yourself instead.
Hey. I have a question.
My roommate is lazy. I’m wondering what the etiquette is for cleaning the room, namely taking out the recycle and vacuuming.
She usually fills up the recycle to overflowing, and it’s all of her stuff. (Lots and lots of water bottles. I use it too, for things like tea bag wrappers…) Who should take it out?
With vacuuming. She has black hair, I have blonde hair. She has her hair ALL OVER the floor. It’s gross. You could still see my hair on the floor, but I swear she sheds. What’s the etiquette for vacuuming?
Thanks!
It could be helpful for you two to develop a chore schedule. As much as you might hate the though of taking out the recycling when it’s mostly hers or vacuuming when you know it’s her hair that’s the issue, it’s only fair that you both pitch in. And it’s possible that she contributes to other chores that she thinks are mostly “your mess,” such as washing the dishes even though she rarely cooks (just an example- It’s also possible that she does nothing at all.). If one of you is carrying more weight than the other one, though, it’s important for you to develop a routine in order to prevent any resentful feelings from developing.
Sit down with your roommate, make a list of all the chores that need to be done in a given week and the number of times they must be completed, and then divide them up fairly. Do what works for you and your roommate. A rotating schedule might be fairer, or you might want to stick to the same chores each week for the sake of routine. Whatever you decide, post a list on the fridge or on the door so that neither of you forgets your responsibilities. It could also be helpful for you to make a checklist for each week to ensure that neither of you forgets or shirks on your responsibilities.
Hope that helps!